dawnblushed | [redactable] catchall for alex

...I thought we were friends. I tried to help him out the first day we were here, and he was nice to me during the week.

[so. there's that.]

But I think... probably, he didn't feel any closer to me than he felt to anyone else.

I gave him cake. [ it's a very sudden thing to say, but... yeah. she kinda understands? ]

I didn't know him well, but he said he'd never had it, so I gave him some. I just thought... it seemed like such a sad thing. That he'd never had something pretty much every kid loves.

...

I wonder if there was anyone else here he was close to...?

...I don't know.

[and there doesn't seem to be any way of finding out, either. he's dead, just like both of his victims.]

I just wish it could have been different. Maybe if he had someone like that, he wouldn't have felt like he needed to... kill people.

[ it's not like dead people can share their stories, it's true. ]

...

Do you think it was just who he was that led to this, or do you think something happened to trigger it? [ even with memory loss, surely the logical leap wouldn't be "kill someone to undo the loss"? ]

[yona is quiet for a few long moments before she answers.]

I don't think it was just who he was, no. But I don't think it was possession or anything like that, like some people were talking about yesterday, either.

...

Could anyone have spoken to him and... suggested this? Presented something to him as the only option...?

It's not impossible. But I guess possession isn't really impossible, either, even if it seems strange to me.

[...the only way to know for sure is if it happens again. if it does and they catch whoever it is, they can get more information, but - honestly, she'd prefer it didn't happen at all?]

I'm not sure who could have done that, though. From what I've seen of the Leaders so far they don't really seem like the type...

I'm not sure about possession, but...

[ ... ]

I don't think the leaders seem the type either, but from what I can tell they can't rule out outside influence, but they're not putting all their weight behind that idea?

Something happened to knock us all out and lock us in the rooms we were in at the time, didn't it? And that was, presumably, before Virid killed...

[ it doesn't make sense because they still don't have a clear idea what happened that night ]

Hopefully it wont happen again.

...right. And they said they couldn't leave their rooms in the castle and were knocked out, too, from what I remember.

[Which honestly leads her to believe the "outside influence" theory... but if the Leaders aren't wholly convinced of it, that's something else to consider, she supposes.]

It might be better if it doesn't. But, if it does... what then? Are we prepared to go through all of that again?

[ it's something alex is filing away for future reference. ]

We won't have much choice. It's not fair to anyone who's killed for us to half-ass the trials, as much as it might not be fair to anyone who does the killing in the first place, depending on motivation.