recrowns: (➸ of today)

[personal profile] recrowns 2020-10-15 10:45 pm (UTC)(link)
[ . . . ]

Yona...

[is all he says before he's going to actually go pull some items from the cabinet to clean her injuries before rewrapping them girl please]
recrowns: (➸ it's a goddamned arms race.)

[personal profile] recrowns 2020-10-15 10:48 pm (UTC)(link)
I lost sight of you during the pirate attack. [but he wasn't that worried given that he's pretty sure she went with a group] Where did you go?

[but once he has the supplies, he will go to approach her and once they're within the foot of distance -

she'll feel it. the combination of concern and affection that he wears so easily when he's around her, no matter the static thrum of uncertainty that exists in the background]
recrowns: (➸ and now i'm lying here)

[personal profile] recrowns 2020-10-15 11:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Well... I began at the pub with Shigeo, Archer, and Ange. However we quickly were split up when Shigeo was kidnapped - though he ultimately didn't need my help after all.

[and there they are - the notes of amusement and pride over mob's success that come along with that. he'll be careful and sparing when he tries to help her clean her injuries, offering only the lightest and briefest of touches in hopes to give her nothing more than a faint sense of static.]

.... something on your mind?

[he can guess

but he'll be polite and ask]
recrowns: (➸ i'm lying in the deep indigo)

[personal profile] recrowns 2020-10-15 11:25 pm (UTC)(link)
[HE'S CALM.

and there are notes of apology every time she winces, a hurt that he seems to feel too, a guilt from hurting her. it's not as though he wants to, but -

sometimes it's about what's necessary.

he thinks about that again as she speaks.]


.... we still haven't been able to quite pinpoint what it is that we forgot, have we?

[though.... yona will feel it. the odd warring sensation inside soo-won, as though he wants to end his sentence there. and yet there is something that seems to compel him further]

.... I've been thinking about it, too.

And I wonder if... it had something to do with what was happening outside the castle.
recrowns: (➸ when i discover)

[personal profile] recrowns 2020-10-15 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[his hands still.

the longer she speaks, the slower his movements get - and normally soo-won is able to maintain a smile in almost every situation. yet as she explains, she'll feel the slow, slow creep of dread that seems to spread through his veins. the way that his heart aches in both worry and concern -

and a deep, pervasive sense of loss.]


... Yona.

Does the name... 'Hak' mean anything to you?
recrowns: (➸ i'm lying in the deep indigo)

[personal profile] recrowns 2020-10-15 11:49 pm (UTC)(link)
[ . . . ah.

at this point, there's no surprise. he's not shocked by this, but there is still something... almost wistful in his feelings. like he's holding onto something that's getting further and further out of reach.]


... they gave me a doll of him. Do you have one? Or does yours look like someone else? [a beat] ... I'm going to give you mine, alright? So you know that he's always with you, even if it's a little hard to remember.

[ . . . ]

We grew up with him. The first day that we met again in the castle gardens - it's when Hak was visiting for a Five Tribes meeting. Just before we went back to play, your mother took ahold of his arm and said, "Take care of Yona, okay?"

.... I think your father assigned him as your attendant, and I was so bitterly jealous. [there's a little bit of amusement at that] Because I wanted to have Hak, too.

I'll... hold onto memories of him for both of us, alright? Though I think... you must have more memories of him than I do.

Even still - he's someone who loves you very much. Someone who would risk his life for you without hesitation, every time.

[and with that comes... a feeling of heartache.

like soo-won wishes he could get to have some of that relationship with them, too.]
recrowns: (➸ yet i cherish them deeply)

[personal profile] recrowns 2020-10-16 12:00 am (UTC)(link)
[ . . . . he must have heard her incorrectly.

that is the feeling that yona gets first. the sense that soo-won's hear twists a little at the idea that maybe her doll is of him - and then he puts it away in a box, somewhere far from reach. there's no need to think about what it means.

instead, it's time to focus on this.]


.... mm. I think so. [his voice is soft] But it seems as though this place does not care for what is meant to be impossible.

Even if you don't remember Hak... maybe if you can remember the legacy of the Thunder Beast - that's his other popular name.

[ . . . ]

Whatever it is that you want to know about him - I can do my best to answer. But.... even if you can't recall him, or his face - I think you deserve to know that he would do anything for your happiness.

I think... even I would be able to rest easier if he was here.

[even if something in his heart pangs with pain and anguish at that exact moment - he is the only one - he moves to finish bandaging her on one side.]
recrowns: (➸ i intentionally discarded)

[personal profile] recrowns 2020-10-16 12:37 am (UTC)(link)
[ . . . . he smiles a little bit at that.]

He wouldn't have let you go charging out by yourself if he was here, I know that much. There's some part of him that always wants to be at your side, given that he was assigned at your atttendant.

... and perhaps - even more than that. Someone who always cherished your safety and happiness.

[because that's what's most important - that hak be someone who can protect yona. even when soo-won knew that a future may come that they wouldn't be at his side... that was his request.]

... I'll do my best in his place, as long as I'm here. I'm afraid I'm a pale comparison of a replacement - but I owe him at least this much.
recrowns: (➸ i'm lying in the deep indigo)

[personal profile] recrowns 2020-10-16 12:46 am (UTC)(link)
[ . . . . . . so he is.

and yet.]


.... rather than making promises of who might die for each other - shouldn't we try to live together instead?

[because something feels wrong. something feels so entirely wrong at the idea of yona going out of her way to protect him. the idea of her looking after him because of his standing and his status....

he doesn't dislike anything - and yet... he feels as though he might truly hate that.]


You are the only person who knows what it means for me to be the king of Kouka here. You know how important it is for me to get back.

... but I think - you don't understand how important it is for you to return as well.

[because no matter what, no matter what his memories say, or how confusing some pieces may be -

the truth is that he never wished to see her harmed.]
recrowns: (➸ reach out your hands)

[personal profile] recrowns 2020-10-16 01:06 am (UTC)(link)
[wow why would i ever]

..... I don't intend on going easily either. There are still things that I must do, and I'm afraid that I can't be pulled away from Kouka until I accomplish them.

[he offers a soft smile and offers - ]

To make the country strong enough so that it won't be invaded... that's all I wish to do. That reminds me that I need to return sooner rather than later.

... but for as long as we're here, I don't intend on letting go of you so easily either.

[whether it be for hak or himself - in a way that is selfish, that wants to be next to someone who knows him as soo-won and not as his majesty....

that's harder to say.]
recrowns: (➸ yet i cherish them deeply)

[personal profile] recrowns 2020-10-16 04:04 am (UTC)(link)
[ . . . . if they're to talk about this, soo-won can't help but think - ]

... you brought the iza seeds to the Fire Tribe, didn't you? From Kai. [his voice is soft, questioning. as if it's a secret that he has to keep from others, even though the rest of his court isn't here] A crop that can grow even in difficult climates, which will allow the Fire Tribe to be able to improve its agriculture and for there to be less famine, coupled with the leadership of Lord Tae-Jun.

[ . . . there's just a soft noise of amusement, and she can feel the fondness that comes from him. the slight awe and admiration - weaker, but present still.]

During the negotiations with Li Hazara... we were able to regain that village at the border, so that they could continue to share their techniques with the Fire Tribe.

You're good friends with Lady Lili, as well. They discussed your successes at Awa to the point that it reached even my ears. I...

[ . . . ]

I do what I can from the throne - but you touch the people without it.

For what you have accomplished already... I do not want you to think that they are not already worthy of praise or notice, even if... I am not always in a position where I can acknowledge them.

[even when they are outside of this place, when the palace walls have eyes and ears, he has to pretend like he doesn't care or doesn't know.

when the truth is everything but.]
recrowns: (➸ starring you in my notebook)

[personal profile] recrowns 2020-10-16 06:16 pm (UTC)(link)
[ . . . . . there's a bit of a soft smile at that as he listens to her - becomes aware of the way that she's grown since they were children. and so quickly at that. even though it seems like there were circumstances that led to it, he can't help but think....]

.... I liked the Princess Yona who would happily offer pears and fruits to try to make up for her funny demands very much. I thought that you would always try to help people if you got the chance to, and you wanted them to help you too. It was such an idyllic existence and visiting the castle always made me feel like I was entering a dream.

[ . . . ]

You - may not remember because you were so small... but in my childhood I would always go to play outside the castle walls, in the city, even though some would call it dangerous or dirty. Because of what you're saying -

There are some things that can only be accomplished on the throne. There are some things that can only be accomplished off of it.

I think that you are impressive as you are, too. Offering iza seeds and arrows instead of pears and fruits.

[and yet - there it is, a twist of selfishness. of saying things. because at the end of the day, soo-won returns to the castle where yona grew up, and she remains with her comrades and hak. neither of them find their ideals, because he doesn't doubt that she wishes she could have her home back, just as he wishes he could be with his most cherished people.

the people who saw him as soo-won, and not as king.]


.... I'm not sure if it's what is best for Kouka - I walk forward with that intention in mind, with a goal to serve the kingdom so that it can be strong enough to never be invaded.

But I think that we are simply two people doing the best that we can, with the circumstances that we have.

[and that is their humanity.

not their divine right.]

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